Church of the Holy City

Wise Forgiveness

Wise Forgiveness
Rev. Dr. David J. Fekete
September 14, 2014

Genesis 50:15-21 Matthew 18:21-35 Psalm 103

Our Bible readings today are all about forgiveness. They speak to Randy’s question last Sunday. Last Sunday we saw that our past sins don’t count against us, if we turn from them and embrace God’s ways. Randy asked about the case of murder. He asked about the victims of murder and their families and friends. I said that the murderer’s sins don’t count against him if he gives up his rage and bloodlust. Randy asked, “What about the families of the victim? They can’t bring back their beloved.” Now we turn to a consideration of the victims. Now we look at the issue of forgiveness.
There are two issues in this topic. There is God’s forgiveness of us. And there is our forgiveness of our neighbor. Both these issues come up in our New Testament reading. In our Matthew story, a king wants to settle his accounts. One servant owes him ten thousand talents. That would amount to several million dollars today. Obviously it is an amount that a servant would never be able to come up with. Out of mercy, the king forgives this servant all his debt. That is a metaphor of God forgiving us our sins. This same servant tries to collect the debts owed him, personally. Another servant owed him a hundred denarii. A few dollars. He grabs this poor servant and chokes him and finally throws him in jail until he pays him back. While the king forgave the servant several millions in debts, this servant wouldn’t let a few dollars go that was owed him. He doesn’t forgive. The story about the debt owed the servant is a metaphor for our forgiving our neighbors. The story begins with Jesus telling Peter that we are to forgive our neighbor seventy seven times.
The issue of forgiveness plunges us deep into the heart of Swedenborg’s mysticism. And it also is as practical as our day-to-day relations with each other. I will begin by talking about Swedenborgian mysticism.
To talk about God’s forgiveness of us, I will draw on the psalm we read this morning. In the opening verses, it says that God forgives all our iniquity. And then immediately following, it says that God heals all our diseases (Vs. 3). It suggests that forgiveness and healing are part of the same process. The psalm goes on to say that God does not deal with us according to our sins, but that He removes our transgressions from us (Vss. 10, 12). Those few lines contain the whole process of regeneration. And they tell us about the process of God’s forgiveness and His redemption of the whole human race.
God’s greatest wish is that humanity will be united with Him in a mutual love relationship. Out of love, God does not deal with us according to our sins, but according to love and forgiveness. Paul in 1 Corinthians 13 says that love does not keep a record of wrongs. And if we think about people we love, whom we wish to be close to, don’t we put up with a lot of trouble and grief in order to maintain our relationship with them? So it is with God, only more loving than we can possibly imagine.
God is continually approaching us, desiring our love and friendship. And when we let God into our hearts and turn toward God, then the relationship is mutual. This mutual joining together of God and humans is a process. God takes us where we are, and as He approaches us, He removes away the sins that come between us and Him. So the Psalmist says that God removes our transgressions from us. As God enters our hearts, so sin is pushed to the sides and periphery of our consciousness.
Then comes the greatest gift and miracle God works. In place of our twisted cravings, God gives us His own good feelings. He makes us feel happy doing good. And this pleasure in doing good is God in us. Swedenborg says that “People who believe that goodness comes from the Lord turn their faces toward Him and find a pleasure and bliss in what is good” (DP 93). Our very ability to feel pleasure in what is good and our very ability to think what is true is a gift from God. Swedenborg tells us,
Since all our intending stems from love and all our discerning stems from wisdom, it follows that our ability to intend stems from divine love and our ability to discern stems from divine wisdom. This means that both come from the Lord, who is divine love itself and divine wisdom itself (DP 89).
This union with God is only possible because God doesn’t keep a record of our wrongs, but always approaches us with the desire to be joined in love. Like the king in our Matthew story, God forgives our many debts and remains in loving relationship with us. He wants only for us to love Him back in return.
If we love our neighbors in a similar manner, we will not cherish resentments against our neighbor. As Paul says, “Love does not keep a record of wrongs.” Forgiving those who slight us will ultimately make us feel better. And it will also allow God’s love into our hearts. For love for our neighbor is also God’s love in us. He loves our neighbors as much as He loves us.
Like everyone, in my life I have been slighted by people. The memory of these offences sometimes remains in the back of my mind. On a bad day, I can relive these slights and fill myself with bitter resentment. If we look at the very word “resentment” we see that the stem is “sentiment”–feeling. Re-sentiment is literally re-feeling that slight. This does me no good. Resentment is an uncomfortable feeling. And it jeopardizes my positive relations with others. You know, sometimes when i am in a worship service–particularly during a communion service–these feelings of resentment dissolve. As a diving love permeates me, the pettiness of my little mind disappears. I am filled with God and God loves everyone always. I begin to see that everyone has their own way of living and thinking. I may not understand it, but I trust that God does, and they do, and my appraisal of their relationship with me needs to be seen in that light. His Holiness the Dalai Lama says this very well,
True compassion does not stem from the pleasure of feeling close to one person or another; but from the conviction that other people are just like me and want not to suffer but to be happy, and from a commitment to help them overcome what causes them to suffer (My Spiritual Journey, p. 20).
But the title of this talk is wise forgiveness. I do not mean to suggest that we allow people to harm us again and again in the same way. There are people that I hold at arm’s length. I am open to friendship and good relations, but also aware that I have been harmed by them and may be harmed again if I am not circumspect about my relations. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” And yet even in these rather cool relationships, I need to keep my mind clear from enmity and resentment. Sometimes, a forgiving attitude and a mild disposition will seem to invite hostility. But we can be mild and firm at the same time. Again from the Dalai Lama,
If your calm seems to encourage unfair aggression, be firm, but with compassion. If it turns out to be necessary for you to prove your point by severe countermeasures, do so without resentment or bad intentions (Ibid, 22).
We do well to recall Jesus’ words. He tells us to forgive our neighbor seventy seven times. Consider the story from Genesis. Joseph forgave his brothers. This is the same Joseph who was stripped of his coat of many colors, thrown into a well, and sold to the Egyptians as a slave by these same brothers! And yet there is a tearful reunion and forgiveness later in life. Consider, too the great Apostle Paul. He persecuted and, in fact, killed Christians before his conversion. But when he converted to Christianity, the early church did not forbid his membership. They forgave his past. And as a Christian, Paul did immense deeds to further the early church. And we do well to remember Jesus’ words on the cross. When the Romans and the mob blindly cried out for His death, Jesus forgives them for they do not know what they are doing. I guess that’s what Alexander Pope means when he writes, “To err is humane; to forgive, divine.”

PRAYER

Lord, we thank you for your gift of forgiveness. And we thank you for giving us of yourself. For we acknowledge that all the good we enjoy, and all the truth we think are gifts from you. We acknowledge that the good and truth in us are your presence in our souls. For you are good Itself and Truth Itself. And apart from you, we can do nothing. We ask that you come into our hearts and that you enlighten our minds. And as you enter us, you drive out all that is evil, even while you forgive us our sins. You stand at the door and knock. May we hear your knock, and open the door.

And Lord, we pray for the sick. May they experience the power of your healing love. Fill them with the grace of your healing power. Comfort their family and friends. We pray for the grace of your healing power for all who are ailing in body or soul.