Church of the Holy City

A Father’s Love

A Father’s Love
Rev. Dr. David J. Fekete
June 16, 2013

Genesis 28:10-17 Luke 8:40-56 Psalm 103

When I search for hymns about mothers for Mothers’ Day, it is hard to find any from our Book of Worship. And also, when I look for Bible passages about significant mothers I am only able to find a few. I would have expected the opposite when it comes to fathers. And indeed, I had no trouble finding hymns. And in the Old Testament, there are many stories about significant fathers. But when it comes to the New Testament, the passages about fathers are just as few as are those about mothers. I mean passages about human fathers, not the passages that mention Jesus and His heavenly Father. I don’t want to use those passages because they are not about what ordinary mortal fatherhood is about. But I did find that passage about Jairus and his daughter. That reading shows to some degree a father’s love for his daughter.
Of course there are many, many Bible passages that point to God as Father. For instance, in the reading for this morning about Jacob God says that He is the God of Jacob’s fathers, Abraham and Isaac. This suggests that in early Israel ancestor worship may have been practiced. And in the New Testament, God is referred to as our Heavenly Father, as in the Lord’s Prayer.
I chose the Old Testament passage about Jacob because Jacob himself is the father of the 12 tribes of Israel. Although Israelites often refer to themselves as children of Abraham, I think equally so the 12 tribes of Jacob are a more specific way of identifying oneself. The Apostle Paul identifies himself in both ways. He calls Abraham his forefather, and when he talks about himself personally he says he is of the tribe of Benjamin.
It is fair to say that Judaism and Christianity are religions dominated by men. So fathers are prominent in the stories, and God Himself is considered our Father. Then we have the male figure of Jesus. But we do not think of Jesus as a Father figure. But nevertheless, Jesus reinforces the male dominance of Christianity. This creates an imbalance in our religious thinking. We are hard pressed to come up with images of a Feminine Divine. Catholics revere Mary almost to the point of divinity. But Mary is not God. This Judeo-Christian dominance of men has led to a predominance of men in the religious practice of those religions. For a long time, in Judaism only men were allowed to study the holy texts. And, as well, only men could become rabbis. And in Catholicism today, while Mary is revered, only men can become priests. Protestant women fought hard to open the way for women ministers–including in this church, too. Now, however, even in Reformed Judaism and in Protestant Christianity, women can become rabbis and ministers.
We have touched on the role of fathers and men in religion. Now we ask, “What about family life?” There are passages in Paul in which the Apostle teaches that men are to be the head of the household as Jesus is head of the church (Ephesians 5). And further, Paul teaches submission for women in 1 Timothy 2:9-14. In evangelical churches, this doctrine is taught to Christian women and families.
But in our culture’s celebrations, I think that Mother’s Day eclipses Father’s Day. I don’t think that fathers receive as much celebration as do mothers. Yet fathers provide an important contribution to families, too. The ideal household is one that has a father and a mother and their power is balanced.
We saw in our story from the New testament, that Jairus was deeply concerned for his daughter’s wellbeing. He falls at Jesus’ feet, pleading for his daughter. When Jesus reaches their house, he allows only his closest Apostles to enter, along with the girl’s father and mother. Here we have that ideal family unit: mother, father, and God.
We speak of a mother’s love and support, but there are a number of virtues that my father taught me. One was discipline. Another was clear writing and speech. I remember reading a not my father sent me when I was in Virginia and in my 30′s. For the first time, I saw how well and clearly my father wrote. This came to me as I grew up around him. Another thing my father taught me was to think quickly. As a disciplinarian, my father would threaten me with punishment often. But if I could think of a plausible excuse quickly he couldn’t act on his threats. This gift, learned under duress, has helped me to no end in my academic career. Finally, my father taught me the strength of my own convictions. He was a domineering presence in my family, and to stand up to him took strength and courage. When I believed in myself, I did just that. This virtue has served me well in the challenges life put before me.
There are certainly enough reasons for me to complain about my father. I think everyone could. But as we become adults, we realize that our parents were only human and that they raised us the best they knew how. We will not harbor resentments about our parents. We will see the many ways they showed their love for us, or we will know that they loved us even if they didn’t know how to show it.
Fathers do care deeply about their children. They may not show it in the same way that mothers do, but their love is deep and strong. There were a few very important events in my life in which my father showed his love for me.
One such story was way back in my early 20′s. I had decided that I was on my own. It was going to be me against the world, and I didn’t need my family. In fact, in my young rebellion, I had sort of disowned my family. I was on my own two feet. I moved out to Connecticut and applied to music school there. Then, for Christmas holiday, I decided to visit my parents. I drove from Connecticut to Detroit in a beat-up old van. While I was enroute, a massive snowstorm fell. The roads were terrible. And about an hour outside of Detroit, the battery on my van died. I was stranded in the blizzard. My friend and I tried hitch-hiking the rest of the way, but no one stopped to pick us up. In the cold and snow, we seriously began to question whether we would make it out of this situation alive–and the city just an hour down the road. Finally, we got a ride to the bus station in Detroit. It was about 3:00 in the morning. What do you suppose that this independent, self-sufficient young man who had disowned his family and stood on his own two feet, what do you suppose I did? I phoned home. My father answered the phone. I choked up and could hardly talk. I stammered out that I was at the bus station, could I get a ride home? Without a second thought, at 3AM, my father drove the 45 minute ride to the Detroit bus station and picked me up, and brought me back to a warm home. It was my father who did this. The next day, dad drove me to my van, jumped the battery, and followed me as I drove the van back to home.
Another example of my father’s love was when I was having problems with this denomination–again when I was in my twenties. Although I had attend our divinity school for 5 years, the Committee on Admission to the Ministry had their doubts about me. They opted not to recommend me for ordination. I appealed their decision to the Council of Ministers. A meeting was held of the entire Council of Ministers to decide my fate. I was told to wait outside the room. The meeting lasted two hours. And the whole while, my father sat next to me, as we awaited their decision. We didn’t say much. He offered a few words of consolation. But what mattered to me was just that he sat there with me.
These are a few examples of how my father showed his love for me. Examples I could see and feel. Unfortunately, my father belonged to a generation in which fathers were often the disciplinarians of the family. And my father was no different in this regard. Fathers were not encouraged to show their feelings. And my father was no different in this regard. I think that is why those examples I narrated meant so much at the time. They showed me that my father did care about me, and that he did love me.
Today we honor our fathers. We recognize that they were an essential part of our family life. And we acknowledge that they loved us too, perhaps, probably, as much as did our mothers.

PRAYER

Heavenly Father, we offer up this prayer of gratitude for our earthly fathers. We thank you for the guidance and love our fathers have provided for us. We thank you for the homes we grew up in. And Father, we thank you for always looking upon us with your heavenly love. We thank you for the care you lavish upon us, your children. For we are all children of one heavenly Father. We pray that you continue to lead us in all the ways of goodness, that we may come into our true eternal home with you.

And Lord, we pray that you bring peace to this troubled world. May those who harbor ill will for their neighbors learn to understand and see the fellow humanity that they share. May those who strive against each other see that they are like in their wishes and in what they want for their land and nation. And may warring factions find their way to peace.

Lord, we ask for you to heal those who are sick. As you worked miracles of healing when you were on earth, how much more can you work healing miracles now that you have risen and have all authority in heaven and on earth. Grant all who are in need your healing love and power.