Church of the Holy City

Loving–a Command, or a Blessing?

Loving–a Command, or a Blessing?
Rev. Dr. David J. Fekete
April 28, 2013

Deuteronomy 7:6-9, 12-13 John 15:1-12 Psalm 22

In our Old Testament reading and in our New Testament reading we are commanded to love. In Deuteronomy, we read,
Know therefore that the Lord you God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands (Deuteronomy 7:9).
And in John, Jesus says, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you” (John 15:12). This is a strange command, I think. Can we be commanded to love? Can we love on command?
Perhaps the Old Testament is helpful in this regard. In Deuteronomy 7:9, it says that God keeps His “covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.” So in this verse, we see that loving God means keeping His commandments. And in the Old Testament, we find many behavioral prescriptions that we can do. The Ten Commandments come to mind.
And it is true that Jesus gives us a number of behavioral prescriptions that we can do–if we can. He tells us to be peacemakers, to be meek, to be merciful, to be generous, and many other things we can do. These prescriptions from the Old Testament and from Jesus are behavioral. And since they are behaviors, they can be commanded.
But what about loving? Can we love because we are told to? This question is deep, indeed.
This question drove the philosopher Immanuel Kant to develop a whole system of ethics based on this question. He began with the realization that love is a feeling, and that no one can be commanded to feel. So he developed a way to make laws that we could do. But we do these laws not from love but from a sense of duty or obligation. So the only way that Kant could come to terms with the command to love was to come up with a system of ethics based on duty.
That doesn’t get us very far in our question about loving. But it does show how difficult a problem this command is. Let’s return to the idea that love is a feeling. Love is a good feeling. In fact, all the regulations spelled out in the Old Testament and all Jesus’ teachings come down to the two great commands: love for God and love for our neighbor. We are exhorted by Jesus to love, to fill ourselves with this good feeling.
How do we cultivate a good feeling? And I do believe that we can cultivate feelings. Swedenborg gives us a system by which we can cultivate that good feeling of love. The same system also gives us a definition of good and evil.
Swedenborg tells us that the first thing of love to the neighbor, or charity, is to put away evils. Evils all stem from self-interest as a dominant driving force in our lives. But we can put this another way that I like. We can say that evil is anything that gets in the way of loving. Evil is what keeps us from loving. So Swedenborg writes,
The first of charity is to put away evils, and the second is to do goods, which are of use to the neighbor. In the doctrine of charity this holds the primary place, that the first thing of charity is not to do evil to the neighbor; and to do good to him or her in the second place. This doctrine is as a door to the doctrine of charity (TCR 435).
Refraining from evil is something practical we can actually do. Most of us are law abiding citizens. And civil laws restrain us from harming our neighbor. We grow up learning the laws of our city, province, and country. This is like the first step of a ladder. When we make these civil laws personal, we are a moral person. And morality is the second step of the ladder.
What is the difference between a moral person and a civil person? A civil person may be called a law-abiding citizen. Such a person obeys the laws of his or her society. But what about situations where the civil laws don’t operate? I think of a time in college when I was editor of the school newspaper. I walked up and down main street in Urbana, Ohio visiting business owners and soliciting advertizing space in the school newspaper. I also collected the advertizing monies for the ads. Towards the end of the school year, due to a conflict of interest, the student government decided not to publish a final newspaper. I was still in possession of the monies I had collected from the advertisers. There was some nervousness among the student government that I would simply pocket the cash. There would have been no law to prevent this. We had put out papers with the ads placed for the monies I had collected. But what I did was a moral decision on my part. I used the ad money to pay for a final edition of the school paper that year. I did this from a sense of morality. It seemed a fair and right use of the money–money that didn’t belong to me.
Being a civil and a moral person is like the first and second steps toward heaven. The third step is to continue being civil and moral, but doing these things from a spiritual motive. Laws and morals tell us how to act. These are behaviors. A spiritual motive makes our behavior heavenly. Civil law is only a worldly motivation to act well with our neighbor. Spiritual motivation makes our civil behavior heavenly and Godly. It fills our deeds with spiritual life. Swedenborg explains this process,
one who is civil and moral can also become spiritual, for the civil and moral is the receptacle of the spiritual. One is called a civil person who knows the laws of the kingdom wherein he or she is a citizen, and lives according to them; and one is called a moral person who makes these laws his morals and virtues, and from reason lives them. I will now tell how a civil and moral life is the receptacle of spiritual life: Live these laws, not only as civil and moral laws, but also as Divine Laws, and you will be a spiritual person (DP 322).
This is where religious doctrine comes in. Religious doctrine has a two-pronged service. It tells the problems and evils that block mutual love, and it points the way to goodness and heaven. We can follow civil laws, but inwardly be full of spiritual maladies. We need to guard our thoughts, watch our speech, and moderate our emotions. It is so easy for me to fall into negative thoughts about my neighbor. I can dwell on perceived wrongs done to me, and nurture them, and water them like a poison plant. I can do this when I’m driving, or watching TV, for instance. This is called a resentment. And the word “resentment” literally means to re-feel an event. Re-sentiment. So I can remove this kind of unfruitful thinking in my mind, which leaves room for God’s inflowing love to fill my mind with good and loving thoughts. Another kind of unfruitful use of the mind is to think myself superior to others. Swedenborg calls this “contempt for others compared with self.” Actually, I suspect thinking this way is more a matter of insecurity than it is of ego. When we think of ourselves as a part of, rather than better than or less than, then mutual love follows.
These are just a couple ways that we can remove thoughts that would block God’s inflowing love. God is continually flowing into our minds and hearts with His love. And when we remove the blocks, then we are filled with God’s love, a love that is always striving to make a home in our hearts.
I have been talking about removing blocks that interfere with love. I can also talk about filling our mind with positive regard for our neighbor. We can think good and kind things about our neighbor, which will lead to good and kind feelings. The Dalai Lama gives us truths that I find very helpful in rendering my mind other-oriented. He writes,
True compassion does not stem from the pleasure of feeling close to one person or another, bur from the conviction that other people are just like me and want not to suffer but to be happy, and from a commitment to help them overcome what causes them to suffer.
According to my experience, the highest level of inner calm comes from the development of love and compassion. The more concerned with the happiness of others, the more we increase our own well-being. Friendliness and warmth toward others relax mental tensions . . . (My Spiritual Journey 20, 26).
The actual process a person uses to replace injurious thinking with healthy thinking about the neighbor is something for each individual to explore. I like the idea of thinking of people as being just like me, and wanting happiness and not to suffer. When I told someone about trying to resist negative thoughts, he told me the following joke: “If I tell you, ‘Whatever you do, don’t think of a pink elephant!’ what is going to fill your mind?” Maybe the best way to encourage loving feelings is to think as does the Dalai Lama–thoughts of positive regard for our neighbor.
We are free to choose the method that works best for us. Jesus and Moses give us the beacon light to steer toward. This is my command: Love one another.

PRAYER

Dear Lord, we thank you for your gift of love. We thank you for sharing with us your infinite love for the whole human race. We ask that you give us the insight to see where and how we might block your love from entering our hearts. And as we become aware of the ways we block your love, give us the power to remove those evils. Let us discard harmful thoughts regarding our neighbor, and fill our minds with positive regard for others. Help us, Lord, to see ourselves as a fellow with our neighbors, and as your children.