Church of the Holy City

And Follow Me

And Follow Me
Rev. Dr. David J. Fekete
September 30, 2012

Exodus 13:17-22 Matthew 10:34-42 Psalm 119

Last Sunday I talked about innocence. I made the claim that true innocence is a property of maturity, because the innocence that touches us in children is only a passing gift. The innocence of childhood sadly passes. But adult innocence is chosen, and has been integrated into the self. This innocence lasts and so it is true innocence.
We saw also that innocence is the acknowledgement that all good things are a gift of God. Innocence is also the willingness to be led by God, not by self. Our Bible readings for this morning treat this theme. In Exodus we read that the children of Israel followed God in their journey toward the promised land. God appeared to them as a pillar of cloud in the day and a pillar of fire at night. And in our reading from Matthew, Jesus says to take up our cross and follow Him. He makes some other extraordinary statements. He says,
Do not think I have come to bring peace on the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s foes will be those of his own household. He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me (10:34-37).
Taken literally, these words would mean that Jesus means to break up the family unit. Notice that the sword that Jesus will bring to the earth severs only family ties–son and father, daughter and mother, daughter-in-law and mother-in-law, father, mother, son and daughter. What a terrible vision this is if we take these words literally. But they all refer to letting God lead us, not self. The family relations that Jesus wants to break up are symbols for the ego, for destructive self-love, or attachment to what Swedenborg calls proprium. And when we let go of our attachment to proprium, or destructive self love, then we let God lead us. Thus after stating all those words about breaking up family attachments, Jesus says, “He who does not take up his cross and follow me is not worthy of me” (Matthew 10:38). After we break up our proprium, our ego, our destructive attachments from unhealthy self-love, then we follow God, or let Him lead us.
But this idea of God leading us can be misleading. In order for us to have any spiritual life of our own, we need to make our own choices, make our own decisions, and live the life that we create for ourselves. In other words, we need to act as if for all intents and purposes we are leading ourselves.
Swedenborg cautions us against waiting for God to tell us what to do. He rather lampoons those who await directions from on high:
It is clear that he who waits for influx is like a statue; for he must stand or sit motionless, with hands hanging down and eyes either shut or open without winking, neither thinking nor breathing. What life then has he? (DP 321)
So for Swedenborg, being led by God is not as passive as it sounds. It is not sitting with hands hanging down waiting for God’s power to enter us.
Like a car whose starter is broken, we need to push-start our lives and pop in the clutch. Then, once we are moving, God will direct our course. What I mean is that we need to make our own decisions, and we need to lead and direct our own lives. But here we enter the world of paradox. While it looks like we are doing this all on our own, actually it is God who is leading us by means of our own mind.
It is a law of divine providence that a person should be led and taught by the Lord from heaven, through the word, and doctrine and preaching from it, and this in all appearance as by himself. According to the appearance, a person is led and taught by himself; but according to the truth, he is led and taught by the Lord alone (DP 154).
This idea is like the Buddhist teaching that there is, in fact, no actual self. We talk about self as a convenient way to speak, but when we look at our true nature, there is no self. So all the learning we imbibe from experience, from study, from listening to preaching like what I do here each Sunday, and by learning principles to live by called doctrines–all this effort to acquire wisdom is actually not us but God teaching us. Swedenborg tells us that if we believe this and acknowledge that we are taught and led by God, then in time we will actually sense God’s leading and instruction:
They who confirm themselves in the appearance and at the same time in the truth, become worshippers of the Lord; for the Lord raises them from their proprium, which is in the appearance, and He enables them to perceive interiorly that they are not led and taught by themselves but by the Lord (DP 154).
There is a reason why God wants all this to appear as if we are doing it. Only by the appearance that we are the ones who are making our own choices can we acquire a personality of our own. Only if we are a self can we receive and possess any of the good things of heavenly love. Only if we have a self can we be loving beings. And finally, only if we are a self can we enter into a reciprocal relationship with God. Without the sense of self, there would be no relationship between God and us.
Everyone recognises that a person thinks, wills, speaks, and acts to all appearances as from himself; and everyone may see that without this appearance a person would have no will and understanding, thus no affection and thought, and also no reception of any good and truth from the Lord. . . . From which it is manifest that this appearance is given to a person by the Lord . . . chiefly that a person may have the power to receive and to reciprocate, by which the Lord may be conjoined with him and he with the Lord, and that by this conjunction a person may live forever (DP 174).
So as we make our life’s choices, and as we direct our steps in the ways that seem most wise to us, God is leading us all the while. God leads us by means of what we enjoy, what we love, and by means of our feelings. God takes us where we are, and without our feeling it, bends our delights and affections ever more toward heaven and toward the kinds of things that are truly lasting and that truly matter.
Thus the Lord leads man according to his enjoyments, and also according to fallacies and received principles, but by degrees He leads him out thence; and this appears to man as from himself (AC 6472).
How gentle is God’s leading. God doesn’t force us. God doesn’t impose His will on us. He gently takes us where we are and turns us ever toward Him and His kingdom. We follow our own delights and by means of these we are brought to heaven. This means that we are led in freedom. For everything that we do from love feels free to us. When we can act on our delights freely we feel happy and unconstrained.
The Lord leads everyone by means of his affections, and thus bends him by a tacit providence, for He leads him through freedom. When one who has been regenerated (that is, who loves his neighbor, and still more who loves the Lord) reflects upon his past life, he will find that he has been led by many things of his thought and by many of his affection (AC 4364).
Notice those key words in this passage, “tacit providence.” That means, quiet or unseen providence. Notice too that it is only when we look back on our lives that we see the operation of providence. And those of faith will see that their lives have unfolded in a wonderful series of events that led to where we are now.
I can’t help seeing my relationship with Carol in this light. I got ordained and wanted to minister to a church. Edmonton wanted a minister and called me, so I moved up here. My first Sunday here Randy had a jam and I played at it. At the jam I met a musician who plays at the Eric Cormac Centre. Through him, I met a woman named Cathy. Cathy happened to know Carol at the Eric Cormac Centre. One Sunday Cathy came to Randy’s jam (Cathy knew Randy from work as Randy plays there, too) and brought Carol with her from work. Carol and I were both single then and Cathy–knowing both of us–introduced us. Cathy also went out with us the first time we went out. These events all fell like dominoes knocking one after another down to bring Carol and I together. That’s how I view my relationship with Carol, and I think she sees it similarly. God never told me in a booming voice, “Go to Edmonton, David, and meet Carol.” But through my delights, my talents, and my calling Carol and I were brought together. I should also add that I am happy up here with this congregation in and of itself. This has been a good move for me personally and professionally.
I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t want to know what the future holds. This I know, there is a God watching over me, and He is guiding my every footstep. My life has been full of wonderful moments, and I have every belief that more are coming. This is only one way I have seen God working in my life. And of this I am sure, no harm can come to me. I believe that the same is true for you, for all of us.

PRAYER

Lead us, Lord, in the paths of righteousness for your name’s sake. Enlighten our minds so that we can make wise choices. Inspire us with your Holy Spirit as we seek to learn your ways. And when we make decisions in life, help us to make decisions that are based on heavenly precepts and on your Divine Law. As we make our choices and decisions, we are forming a personality, and we would have that personality be angelic and heavenly. May the life we acquire be the life you would have us lead. For through all our learning, all our experiences, and all our decisions and choices, you are teaching and leading us ever upward toward you and your kingdom.